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December 7, 2011

Visitation Issues Over the Holidays

~ written by Stuart Itani, Managing Attorney, Domestic Relations Group, Legal Aid Society of Columbus

Below are some practical tips for handling issues related to child visitation during the holiday season:

Question:
My ex and I have always agreed informally that he would have our child during Thanksgiving and I would have Christmas. Now he wants to change and he wants Christmas this year. What do I do?

Answer:
When communications or informal agreements between the parties break down, the situation is controlled by the court order from your case (divorce decree/shared parenting plan/entry). The court order should set forth the parenting schedule, including holidays. Sometimes the order will refer to “Local Rule” for holidays, in which case the Local Rule for Franklin County applies. If your court entry is silent or doesn’t address the matter, then also follow the local rule for guidance. It is highly recommended that parents keep extra copies of their court orders and a copy of local rules handy so that they can consult them if needed. Because courts and agencies close at the holidays, you want to make sure you have paperwork readily available at home.

There are two Parenting Time Schedules (in Local Rule 27 in Domestic Relations court and Rule 22 in Juvenile court)—one for parents traveling over 90 miles one way, and one for parents traveling under 90 miles one way. Click here for the Court's schedules.

Question:
My ex called and said she is running late to pick up the child because of the bad weather. Do I need to wait around or can I leave with my child to go to a holiday party?

Answer:
The local rules spell out the requirements for advance notice and for waiting. However, inconveniences happen and you should try to be flexible. If person is running late, and they’ve called you, be patient and try to accommodate them because of the weather. The holidays will be a lot smoother for everyone if you exercise common sense and patience.

Question:
My ex hasn’t brought a car seat for the child. Do I have to let the child go?

Answer:
Local rules provide that for any and all children required by law to ride in a car seat, the parents shall transfer the car seat with the child as parenting time exchanges occur. Most of the time, people have their own car seats. If someone comes without one, lend them yours and make sure they return it. Keep a spare in case something comes up.

Question:
My child has her own phone and mom keeps texting her and sending her photos during my time with the child. It’s disruptive because the child ends up texting and looking at the photos when we are trying to hang out with my family here. What do I do?

Answer:
The court order and/or local rule controls, so consult that first. Local Rule only addresses telephone calls by the non-possessory parent. You should allow reasonable communication, but if it becomes disruptive, kindly ask the other parent to refrain from texting. Children can initiate calls to the other parent under local rule as much as they would like with some limitations. At the holidays, people will be eager to send photos and to see what is happening. Try to show some common sense judgment. If the texting becomes a problem, follow the court order and local rule for phone calls.

Question:
The child wants to stay an extra day during the Winter Break with dad, and I think dad is encouraging the child to tell me he wants to stay. What do I do?

Answer:
The court order and/or local rule controls, so consult with that to make sure you are properly following the arrangement in the first place; you should follow that if you cannot agree. Try not to involve the child too much in the back and forth discussion with the other parent. If it’s for a special reason and there’s no harm, try to find a trade off day. Being flexible is important to ensuring that things go smoothly.



Each week, the Columbus Bar Association's Lawyer Referral Service partners with WSYX-TV's 6 on Your Side to staff the "Ask the Attorney" program. Volunteer lawyers handle calls on everything from adoptions to zoning. Call "Ask the Attorney" with your legal question on Wednesdays between 5:00pm and 7:00pm at 614/481.6678.

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